At Least It's Not Red

posted by Evan Jake at 6:15 PM

I mentioned in my last post that I had a check-up with the doctor this week. Every milestone birthday of course comes with a chance to lie naked on a paper sheet and get poked with something sharp.

I got weighed and measured, as usual. It seems I'm not growing as fast as I had been. I guess my new diet and exercise plan has kept off some of that baby flab.

Speaking of diet, the doctor could tell exactly what foods I like. She could tell I really like carrots, squash and sweet potatoes. (Which is true. I love eating carrots. Eating carrots is my favorite activity, second only to car rides. I love car rides.)

That's me the in picture after eating some carrots and veggie puffs. As you can see, the food is all over my face and nose. Recently, someone asked why my nose looks orange in many of my pictures. Mom and dad thought maybe my food was staining my nose, just like it has stained my high chair, food bowls, bibs, clothes and the living room carpet. But in fact, the doctor could tell I like carrots because if you eat enough of them, they really do turn your nose orange! Gross!! Maybe I should cut back.

I guess it's a good thing I don't like eating peas. That really wouldn't be good for my complexion. Or mom and dad could feed me chocolate. Then I'd really look like a brown noser!

~:O

Happy New Year, Again?!

posted by Evan Jake at 5:20 PM

Shanah Tova! (That means "Year Good" in Hebrew.)

Boy, how many times per year are we supposed to celebrate a new year? Am I supposed to make more New Year's resolutions? (I already did that.)

Mom and dad explained that today at sundown is the start of the Jewish New Year. It will be the first day of the year 5767 on the Jewish calendar. Or if you keep track of time like my mom does, it's month 71,317. Most importantly, the start of the new year meant I got to get out of day care early today. Actually, I got out early because I had a doctor's appointment this afternoon, but more on that another time.

So apparently this is a holy time of year. It's a time to celebrate. And it's a time to be thankful for all of life's blessings. Personally, I'd feel more blessed if I had a flat-screen TV and a house with stairs. We're also supposed to reflect on the year that's passed -- or in my case, the last nine months. It's time to acknowledge your sins and ask for forgiveness. Well, I'm just a baby and have nothing to ask forgiveness for. I'm pure and perfect. Mom and dad, on the other hand, have some serious apologizing to do.

I guess I can find it in my heart to forgive them for all the things they've done wrong to me. I know they're trying hard. Well, mom looks like she's trying anyway. Meanwhile, there seem to be a lot of Jewish holidays this month. They're all these special days where you're supposed to eat lots of food and not do any work or ride in cars (which is too bad, because I love car rides).

The Jewish New Year is celebrated by eating apples and honey. I'm not allowed to eat honey. But I do get to eat bland applesauce. So may your New Year be healthy, happy and unsweetened!

~:O

One, Two, Cha-Cha-Cha

posted by Evan Jake at 8:33 PM

Sorry I haven't blogged in a little while. You see, for nine months and six days, I was carried around by mom until that fateful day when I was thrust out into this cold, cruel world. Now that I've been out here for nine months and seven days, I was expecting something dramatic to happen. What would happen to me this time? What could possibly be worse?

Well, nothing happened. I guess I'm here to stay. So I figured it was time to get moving. As you can see from my video below, I'm a baby on the move, baby. I can walk anywhere I want (so long as someone is holding my hands). Not only can I walk with some assistance, I can cruise around a room, too. I know, when I talk about "cruising" you probably think I'm talking about a car ride -- I love car rides. No, what I mean is that I can grab onto furniture and walk all around the room.

Cruising is fun. Now I can find all sorts of goodies to put my hands on that I'm not supposed to have or put in my mouth. Surprisingly, mom and dad have been trying to keep the house neater now. I'm glad I can give them an excuse to clean.

The problem is, I'm still not real sturdy on my feet (see video). And I fall a lot. I tend to get bumps and scrapes. Sometimes it looks like I've been beaten up. Maybe a social worker will see me all banged up and think I'm abused. Then they'll take me out of this house and protect me from these clueless parents!!


~:O

40 Weeks and Counting

posted by Evan Jake at 6:04 PM

Since I came home from the hospital nine months ago, I've had three loves in my life: My parents (mostly mom); car rides (I love car rides); and my pacifier (referred to affectionately as "Pacie".) That's me in the picture in a rare moment without "Pacie".

I must be growing up. Because this week I decided I no longer require "Pacie." "Pacie" has been with me everywhere I've gone my whole life. Mom and dad once tried to take "Pacie" away from me. That did not go very well. Since that time, they've been very generous in giving me "Pacie." In fact, I have more than just one "Pacie." I have several "Pacies" in my crib that I can reach at any time. I have one attached to each car seat and stroller. And I also have a small collection of my own at day care (those have my name written on them.)

Why have I decided to part ways with "Pacie?" Perhaps I have a tooth coming in. Or maybe there's something else going on. You see, when I get fussy, mom and dad try to cram "Pacie" in my mouth and walk away. "Pacie" is a good friend but he's no substitute for good one-on-one time with mom and dad. Now when mom or dad try to stick that plug in my mouth so they can neglect me, I just spit it out. I'm not going to take it anymore. I won't even take "Pacie" at naptime or bedtime.

Farewell, my dear "Pacie." You've been a good friend. I hope we meet again soon. Maybe real soon.

~:O

Free to a Good Home

posted by Evan Jake at 7:06 PM

This morning mom and dad told me they were taking me to the adoption shelter. What did I do to deserve this?! I totally started to panic. I reached for all my favorite toys -- I have a lot and it was difficult to choose. (That's me in the picture with my Lego toys.) But before I could stuff my pockets full of stacking cups and board books, I was whisked away and put into the car.

I love car rides, but I wondered: would this be my last car ride ever? Maybe I could promise mom and dad I'd be better. I'll poop less and take longer naps! I'll clean my room and keep my toys neater. I'll fuss less at day care. Anything!

When we arrived at the shelter, my heart started to pound. Mom took me out of the car and I held on tight. As we walked inside, everyone was looking at me. I could tell they were sizing me up. Then we went into this smelly room with lots of cages. Could this really be where they take fussy babies? But the cages were all full of doggies -- not babies!

The doggies were all really happy to see me. They jumped up and down and barked. Mom took me around to meet all the different kinds of dogs. I felt bad they were all in those cages and I wanted to take them all home. But we weren't there to get a dog. Mom used to volunteer at the shelter and she wanted me to get to see all the different doggies living there.

Then we went into a separate room full of kitties. We already have two kitties at home so we aren't getting any more. Still, these kitties were all very pretty. I got to pet a couple of them. There were several cages of kittens as well. But those little kittens were no match for the cuteness of Evan Jake! There were two ladies in the kitten room going on and on about how cute I am. They weren't even paying attention to the adorable baby kitties. Take that kittens!

I ended up really liking my trip to the adoption shelter. Before we left, we walked through the dog room one more time. I wish we could have taken one of those lonely dogs home. Dad won't let me have one. He says he doesn't want to have to clean up poop or take it on walks. Oddly enough, the rest of my afternoon consisted of dad cleaning up my messy diaper and taking me on a walk. Should I be worried? Good thing he can't dump me off at a shelter for babies!

~:O

Funniest Home Movies

posted by Evan Jake at 7:16 AM

YouTube.com is a great place to go to see videos of everything from movie trailers to car chases. (I love car chases.) You can also find lots of funny videos of people falling down or getting hit in the groin.

I've put my own funny movie up on YouTube. No one gets hit in the diaper-area, but I found it hilarious. Watching dad bang and toss around my toys just cracked me up! Maybe you had to be there...



~:O

A Happy Labor Day?

posted by Evan Jake at 7:54 AM

Dad tells me today is Labor Day which is why he's home from work. I think he's just making it up. I think he's home from work because he's lazy. Labor Day sounds totally made up and not a lot of fun. Why on earth would anyone celebrate a holiday called "Labor Day?"

The last labor day I had didn't turn out so well. It was about 8 1/2 months ago. I remember it well. I got woken up from a nap and got squeezed and pushed around for an entire day. When I came to, I was naked in a hospital room under bright lights in front of a bunch of strangers. Mom didn't look like she had a lot of fun on labor day either. If I recall, she didn't look so hot. Dad was the only one who didn't seem to be doing anything -- as usual.

Well, if celebrating Labor Day is an excuse for everyone to stay home and have a long weekend with me, I guess I'm okay with that. It means no day care for me today. And it's been a long holiday weekend with some cool new experiences.

First, mom gave me some new foods to try. The biggest change is that I'm no longer vegetarian. My pureed veggies now get mixed in with some chicken once a day. It's really tasty. I love it. Oddly enough, it really does taste like chicken. For the first time, our kitty cats are interested in my food and want to lick my bowl when I'm finished. This must be a good sign.

Mom also gave me some finger foods to try. They're called veggie puffs. I guess the idea of chicken puffs is kind of gross. The veggie puffs are hard to eat. They're not all mushy like my other food. But they're fun to play with. If I can't get them in my mouth, I just like to flick them with my fingers or listen to the sound they make when I drop them on the floor. Dad shows me how to eat them by eating some himself. He's shown me how to eat half the can already. Maybe mom needs to keep more snack foods around the house for dad so he'll stop eating mine.

In addition to new foods, mom and dad have been helping me learn to stand and walk. I have no interest in that crawling stuff and really just want to start walking (then driving). I've been able to stand for quite a while now. But now I can move myself around a bit and take some wobbly steps with a bit of help. That's me in the first picture moving around the living room.

I also got a fun visit from my bubbe and pop-pop this weekend. They brought me some new books to read. I love books. Books are my favorite. I love to look at them and turn the pages. And sometimes I just like to chew on them. I also like being read to, mostly because I can't read myself yet. That's me in the second picture getting read to. Dad says he hopes my fascination with books continues as I get older -- at least until eighth grade when I'll have to read The Iliad and Beowulf. I hope those books come with cardboard pages and lots of pictures too.

Well, I don't know what's planned for the holiday today. Maybe more walking around the living room or a car ride. I love car rides. No matter what happens, I just hope this Labor Day is less stressful than the last one!

~:O

Ba-Barbara Ann

posted by Evan Jake at 6:42 PM

For eight months I've spoken to you, loyal diaperlogue readers, through this blog. I've tried to keep you informed of all my activites, complained about mom and dad, talked about car rides (I love car rides) and showed you all my new baby chairs. But I've not had an opportunity to address you directly.

So today, I'd like to share with you, loyal diaperlogue readers, this brief video message from me to you:



~:O