Evan Jake's Day Off

posted by Evan Jake at 2:25 PM

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around every once in a while, you might miss it. This is especially true if you're not looking at me. At any moment I may decide to roll over, sit up on my own, flash a cheeky smile or spit up on your shoes. You'll be sorry you missed it. Which is probably why dad has a camera fixated on me most of the time.

Every day now seems to bring something new. Just a few days ago, I hated my "ExcerSaucer." Now I can't wait to get in there and play with all the cool toys. I used to hate tummy time. And I still hate tummy time, but now I hold my head up high, look around and try to roll myself over (with limited success so far). I've always loved car rides, but now...not so much. I used to enjoy just sitting back and relaxing during the drive. Now, even in my new comfy car-chair, I get bored and antsy.

One reason I'm getting tired of car rides is that I'm always facing backwards. I can't see mom or dad and I can't see where we're going. I'm back there all alone staring at the cheap upholstery in dad's car. (Mom's car has leather.) I'm just not getting excited about this anymore. But that too will probably change again in a few days.

Dad says I'm showing a lot more personality lately. (That's me in the picture smiling for mom.) It's not that I didn't have personality before, I'm just learning new ways to express myself. For the past five months, my message has been simple and unchanging. "I'm cute. Worship me." Just give me a quick glance. I think you'll get the message.

~:O

Bring on the Dancing Chairs!

posted by Evan Jake at 7:42 PM

Tonight dad took me and mom out for ice cream. I was excited to go. Not because I like ice cream (I've never had it) but because I got to go for a car ride of course. I love car rides. And it was great trying out my new car chair.

As you may remember, I got a new car chair last week, but mom decided she didn't like it. She thought it didn't fit me right. So mom and dad took me to the car chair store to pick out a new one. They strapped me into every chair there to see which one fit my tiny bum and big head the best.

There were a lot of car chairs to choose from. Mom wanted the most expensive one. Dad wanted the cheapest. Mom asked dad if he was willing to put a price on my safety. He started to think about a response. Needless to say, mom won that argument and now I have a really nice new car chair.

I didn't get any ice cream at the ice cream store. That kind of bummed me out. But I know that when I'm a little older, I'll get some ice cream of my own that I can eat and smear all over my car chair. Dad will love that. I'll probably spit up on it a few times, too, for good measure.

Meanwhile, I also got a new chair for my bathtub (also known as the kitchen sink). That's me in the picture sitting in the sink getting a bath. I have a little pact with mom and dad that if they promise not to take any naked pictures of me as a baby, I'll never steal the car keys when I'm 16. This picture is a little borderline don't you think? I think it's worth at least one joy ride with my friends.

I could probably reach out and grab the keys now if I wanted to. I've gotten very good with my hands. If you put something anywhere within my reach, I will grab it, crumple it up and stick it in my mouth. No matter what it is, when I'm through it's nothing but a wrinkled, soggy mess. I guess that's why mom and dad were keeping their ice cream treats so far away from me. Smart move.

~:O

Evan Jake Is a Household Name

posted by Evan Jake at 11:14 AM

I'm not sure what this web site, Evan Jake Facts, is all about. But I think like it. I must have a big fan somewhere out there.

Now, I don't know if all these facts about me are true. What I do know is that I'm cute, I'm smart and I love car rides. As for the rest, you be the judge:

EvanJakeFacts.blogspot.com

~:O

Baby Houdini?

posted by Evan Jake at 8:49 PM

I may not be able to do card tricks or levitate, but I can escape almost any blanket, sleeper or onesie you put me in!

This morning mom came into my room to find me completely naked in my crib -- all but my diaper, of course! I had managed to wiggle my way out of my "amazing miracle blanket." I then wriggled my entire body through the neckhole of my sleeper, leaving nothing but my diaper and birthday suit.

How did I get my entire body through the neckhole of my sleeper, you wonder? A magician never reveals his secrets. (Although the neckhole that was good and wide from stretching over my 95th percentile head is a pretty good clue.) Now mom is totally freaked and doesn't know what to expect by tomorrow morning. For all she knows, I'll be in my crib holding my breath in a tank of water filled with chains. Maybe she'll check in on me more often! Or at the very least try to get me a primetime TV special.

Meanwhile, mom took me to the store today to get me a new car seat! (That's me in the picture sitting in my new car seat.) I guess we're going on a long car ride soon and mom wanted to get me a new car seat that fit me better and be more comfortable for my bum. You know what also might make my bum feel better? Not sitting in my own poo. I'm just saying.

As you can tell, I'm very excited about my new car seat. I think now I'm going to love car rides even more! Now mom and dad just have to figure how to install it without getting into a fight. Talk about a magic trick...

~:O

Moms to the Power of Three

posted by Evan Jake at 7:25 PM

Today's my big five month birthday! But rather than celebrate all my great achievements of the last 151 days, we had a celebration for mom! At first I was little jealous. I'm used to being the center of attention. But mom does so much for me I thought I'd let this one day be just for her.

Mom and dad put me in the car and we went for a long drive to bubbe and pop-pop's house. I love car rides. I was so excited to see all these new places, I barely slept the entire time. Along the way, we drove through Delaware. Delware smelled kind of funny. Dad said that's because Delaware is where all my diapers go when I'm finished messing them. Judging by the giant piles of garbage I saw out the car window, he's probably right. Boy, and I thought dad let the trash pile up!

When we arrived, dad's whole family was there to greet me. (That's me in the picture sitting on my bubbe's lap.) It was little overwhelming, all those happy people getting up in my face, talking in high voices and tickling my feet. When it got to be too much I just turned on the tears and everyone backed off, at least for a couple seconds.

There was a lot of food to celebrate all the moms in the family. I got to wish a happy mom's day not just to my mom, but to my bubbe and great-grandma, too. That's three generations of moms! If being a mom is such hard work, why do they keep doing it? Us babies must be worth it. But I guess it doesn't hurt to thank them once a year.

For instance, Mom says I have my bubbe to thank for my brown eyes. None of my other grandparents have brown eyes. Theirs are all blue or green. Even my mom and my great-grandma have blue eyes. So my bubbe must have very brown eyes if she had enough to give me some!

After everyone ate, I got a tour of the house that dad grew up in. It has stairs, a yard and everything -- not like our house. Dad has some explaining to do.

Even though the party was for all the moms there, including my dad's aunt and her mom, I was still the center of attention. I guess with all those moms in one room, a baby as cute as me is bound to be the hit of the party.

Happy mom's day!

~:O

The Babywagon

posted by Evan Jake at 12:15 PM

The .4773rd Percentile

Right now, the Philadelphia Phillies aren't the only ones moving up in the standings. This week, the Social Security Administration released the baby name rankings for 2005. My name, "Evan," continued its steady climb moving from number 39 to 38. Which means I'll have a pretty good chance of finding a license plate or keychain with my name on it. My chances will increase even more if I zip over to Ireland (rank 25) or simply head north into British Columbia (rank 18). Alright, even though I love car rides, that's probably little far to travel just for an "Evan's Parking" sign for above my crib.

Meanwhile, my middle name, "Jacob," held its spot at number 1 for the seventh consecutive year! As you can tell, my mom and dad are very original. More alarmingly, "Ethan" was ranked at number 5 for the third time in four years. So I have a suspicion I'll be expected to answer to that name, along with the seven other Ethan's in my first-grade class.

Mom and dad also helped me look up my name on this crazy web-site called babynamewizard.com. Click on the baby name voyager and you can spend hours looking at names that were popular a long, long time ago -- like when my great grandma was born! You'll be so engrossed, you won't even hear that baby in the corner of the room screaming for attention! (Ahem!!) Even though I'm not-quite-five-months-old, I can look at what names used to be popular and see that everything happens in cycles. Which means I'll probably end up giving my kids names like Hobart or Ida. And speaking of cycles, that surely means the Phillies' luck is about to run out.

~:O

And That's the Tooth?

posted by Evan Jake at 9:17 PM

I've been going to bed around nine o'clock lately. It only took nearly five months, but I seem to have found a regular bedtime that I enjoy. (Even though I go to bed at the same time every night, I still wake up as many times in the middle of the night as I feel like.)

So here I was getting some decent sleep at night, until my mouth started hurting. My mouth would fill with drool and my gums got sore. So I've been grabbing anything and everything and sticking it in my milk-hole to sooth the pain. Sometimes I just use my fingers.

Mom has given me some of the tasty purple medicine, which helps. She's also rubbed some cool goo in my mouth that makes the pain go all away -- at least for a minute. Needless to say, with the pain and aching, I've been a little cranky. While that's nothing unusual, mom says it's probably for a good reason.

Mom says I'm getting a tooth. Beneath that little white bump in the bottom of my mouth, she says a tooth will soon poke through. What on earth do I need a tooth for? All I ever eat is milk and mushy rice cereal.

Then again, I see mom and dad eat all this cool looking food and it would be nice to try some. Although some of the food mom eats doesn't look too appetizing. Like the stuff she gets at the drive-through. Yuk. I love car rides, but I could do without that greasy stuff.

Well, I can't wait to meet my tooth. It shouldn't be long now. Then I'll really have a reason to smile for the camera. To show off my toothy grin!

~:O

Baby Knows Best

posted by Evan Jake at 3:51 PM

Well, I called it. At the end of my last post I predicted that dad's softball career would be short-lived. After only three innings, he was on the ground and heading for the "daddy DL."

While cruising for a flyball, dad stepped in a hole and turned his ankle over. I don't see what's so bad about that, since my ankles already turn inwards. But I guess it was pretty painful for old dad. So mom and I got in the car -- I love car rides -- and took dad to the emergency room. I guess mom is used to taking dad to the emergency room. Apparently, it happens on a regular basis. I was just glad that for once I wasn't the one being taken to the doctor. No shots for me!

When dad got to the hospital, they gave him a special chair with big wheels. Then they rolled him back into a special room where they took pictures of his bones. They never did make him take his clothes off and lie naked on a paper sheet. They didn't give him any shots either. I guess only us babies get that kind of shabby treatment.

The doctor said his ankle was very swollen, but it wasn't broken and that he was just being a big wuss. Basically, dad went to the emergency room for a sore foot. I thought mom and dad were only neurotic about rushing me to the doctor.

The doctor wrapped up dad's leg and gave him some sticks to walk with. He said dad needs to relax and keep his feet up. Like he needs a doctor tell him to sit around and be lazy. Dad can do that just fine on his own. With a baseball game on ESPN tonight, I'm sure this puts a real crimp in dad's plans. He'll probably use this as an excuse not to take care of me.

Now that dad has his hurt foot, mom has two babies to take of. Dad keeps bossing her around and asking her to get stuff for him. He's more helpless than me! If he can't walk, maybe he'd like some of my diapers so we won't have to get up to go to the bathroom either!

~:O

I'm Getting Better!

posted by Evan Jake at 8:18 PM

Well, I am feeling much, much better. Although my tummy still bothers me from time to time. I wonder if it has something to do with all that tummy time I'm subjected to on a daily basis.

OK, my belly doesn't bother me as much as it used to. Now I get a special fake milk that I drink from bottles. I didn't like it at first, but now I've come to really look forward to them. I like my fake milk, even though dad is always complaining about how much it costs. He says the only thing more expensive per ounce than one of my bottles is a beer at a ballgame.

Speaking of ballgames, dad subjects me to listening to baseball games every night on the radio. Whether we're at home or in the car (even though I love car rides) the game is on. Now, not only do I have to listen to games, I have to go to them, too!

Dad joined a softball league which is like baseball except that it's for people who are older, less coordinated and fatter than baseball players. So now I have to get up early every Sunday morning to go with mom to watch dad's games that start at 9am. I guess dad figured if he wasn't going to get to sleep in on Sunday mornings anymore, he'd get me back by taking me to his games. But knowing dad, he'll probably just hurt himself. It won't last long.

~:O