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posted by Evan Jake at 8:36 AM

Boy, how time flies. Can you believe I'm three months old today?! It seems like only a short time ago, I was just getting born!

I'm growing bigger everyday and everything is changing so fast. Mom and dad tell me I'm the most amazing and advanced baby ever. So I thought I might check some benchmarks to see how I'm really doing at my three-month birthday.

According to the baby instruction manual mom has, at three months I should be able to:

• Lie on my stomach and lift my head 45 degrees: Even though I hate tummy time, I can do this if I feel like it. It's quite impressive when you consider that my head is in the 95th percentile and my body is in the 50th. (In case you're wondering, I'm in the 99th percentile of cuteness.)


• Laugh out loud: I smile a lot, but living with these two knucklehead parents is no laughing matter. I will, however, laugh to myself every time I see dad trip over one of my toys on the living room floor.


• Bring both my hands together: Yes, I can bring my hands together, but I'm hoping to soon be able to clap my hands just a little bit louder now.


• Follow an object six inches away from my face, moved from side to side: Please, stop holding things so close to my face; it makes me go cross-eyed. And stop waving them from side to side. It's nauseating, and I spit up often enough as it is!


• Say consonant-vowel combinations such as "ah-goo": Why say something as benign as "ah-goo" when a good scream is so much more effective?


• Hold my head steady when upright: What do you expect, should I bob my head wildly from side to side?


• Bear weight on my legs when held upright: Yes, I can bear weight on my legs. I only weigh 12 pounds. If you'd just prop me up and let go, you'd see I can stand and balance completely on only one leg.


• Reach for an object: Oh, I'm reaching for an object, alright. I've had my eyes set on those car keys for weeks! I love car rides. Another three months and I'm outta here!!

~:O