Monkey See, Monkey Don't

posted by Evan Jake at 8:23 PM

Tonight for Halloween, Momma and Dadda dresed me up in my costume. That's me in the picture in my monkey costume. A couple weeks ago, Momma took me to the store and let me pick it out myself. Yes, I liked the way it looked in the store, but when it came time to put it on, I was a little resistant. I finally gave in and let them dress me up, but no way I was letting them put that monkey hood on my head.

Dadda took me outside to go trick-or-treating. I didn't really understand this. Apparently I was supposed to walk around the neighborhood in the dark, wearing a bulky costume and ask for candy. And by visiting each house, I would get one measly piece of candy. That seemed like a lot of work just to get one of those snack-sized candies. Why should I put in that much effort when I already had a heaping pile of candy in a bowl at our house? So instead of walking around, I sat on the front stoop and sorted through all that glorious candy that Momma and Dadda brought home from the store. (They didn't have to walk door-to-door to get it, why should I?)

Then suddenly, at precisely 6:30pm all these mini-vans showed up on our street. The doors opened and piles of kids in costumes poured out. It was pandemonium up and down the entire block. The kids would come up to me and ask for some of my candy. I obliged and I would put a single snack-sized piece of candy in their bag. I quickly realized that this made me a very popular baby -- even more popular that I already am.

I had lots of fun handing out candy. But I got so carried away, I didn't even realize I had given away all of my favorite Hershey bars. I was a little sad. Maybe I should have saved the Hershey bars and given away the Almond Joys instead. One thing I learned tonight is that no one likes Almond Joys. You can't give them away, literally.

Then, at 7:15pm, the street emptied and everyone was gone. There was nothing but empty candy wrappers left behind and the faint odor of Tootsie Roll pops. Maybe next year I'll give the trick-or-treating a shot. And I'll be sure to hang on to those Hershey bars.

~:O

Diapereports: Toddler Tunes

posted by Evan Jake at 7:24 PM

That's me in the picture drawing on the front steps of our house. I like drawing and coloring and many of my admirers fancy me quite the artist. But I believe I am also blossoming as a music afficianado as well.

Dadda has always played lots of classical music for me. I like to listen to music on the little radio in my room, in the car and at home while I play. And when there isn't music playing, I love to sing and dance all on my own. Yes, I love my fair share of Mozart, Brahms and Bach. I especially love Khachaturian's Sabre Dance from his ballet Gayane. But I'm not a total music snob (like Dadda). There are lots of pop bands out there working hard get the attention of us toddlers for more than 20 seconds at a time. And some of them are actually pretty good. Here are my thoughts on a few of them:

The Laurie Berkner Band
Laurie Berkner is the reigning queen of the alternative toddler rock scene. Her biggest success came with the smash hit "Victor Vito" that served to catapult her squarely into the mainstream. Laurie sings and plays guitar, although she often writes songs just above what seems to be a comfortable register for her otherwise rich, silken voice. She is backed up by keyboards (Susie Lampert) and bass (Berkner's husband Brian Mueller). I love her self-titled DVD that contains "Victor Vito," along with updated versions of "We are the Dinosaurs," "I'm Gonna Catch You" and "Pig on Her Head." Berkner's songs are firmly rooted in the American summer camp tradition. Her playful lyrics are set to persistently cheerful melodies that rise and fall, start and stop, with joyful surprise. The result is a truly original and sanguine sound world that can be enjoyed by the whole family.

I have watched Berkner's colorfully choreographed DVD on a regular basis for several months now. And the free bonus CD has been in regular circulation in the car as well. My enjoyment of these albums is surely testing the durability of the media they are imprinted upon. Meanwhile, I can tell Momma and Dadda enjoy Berkner's songs as well. Even though they groan quietly each time I request "Catch You" or "Dinosaurs" I often hear them singing along. Or worse, I catch them singing a few refrains to themselves when the music isn't playing and they think I'm not listening.

Ralph's World
In searching for an alternative to the songs of Laurie Berkner, Momma got me a DVD containing the music of Ralph (aka Ralph Covert). Ralph's World is the children's album Garth Algar never recorded. Covert, a slightly nerdy Stratocaster-playing minstral, wreaks of a thirty-something rocker whose dreams of landing it big in the world of grown-up rock never panned out. Somehow, Covert happened upon his own unique style of toddler rock that has me totally hooked.

His DVD, made up of two-minute musical vignettes, only runs about 15 minutes, but it's just the fix I need after a diaper change. He's able to capture diverse musical stylings -- whether it's channelling Bob Bogle in "Surfin' in My Imagination" or borrowing from Ringo Starr in "At the Bottom of the Sea" -- while his lyrics speak directly to the pre-school emotional experience. And Covert's edgy, grooving riffs are truly infectious. Like Berkner's video, Ralph's World equally demands that you get up off the floor and dance. And it's even more fun dragging Momma and Dadda from the couch to make them dance, too!

The Wiggles
Based in Australia, the Wiggles are a quartet of "entertainers" in colored shirts that have caused an international sensation. I don't quite get it. Momma got me one of their early videos on DVD with the hope of finding a way to break the spiraling Laurie Bernker/Ralph's World cycle. Unfortunately, what these guys lack in talent, they also lack in personality, charisma and intelligence. In this particular DVD, the Wiggles -- Greg, Murray, Jeff and Anthony -- look eerily detached with a glassy has-my-career-really-come-down-to-this? look in their eyes. The Wiggles appear to enjoy performing the songs as much as grown-ups enjoy listening to them. The surprise appearances from supporting characters such as Officer Beaples and Captain Feathersword are similarly disheartening, if not downright creepy.

The music is utterly basic. The production values are on par with community television. And the subject matter is often completely moronic. But if you let yourself get swept away, the experience can be quite a lot of fun. Flapping, jumping and swinging along to the motions of each song provides a decent outlet for the extra energy us toddlers often have. But I know how much Momma and Dadda hate these guys, so I really just get a rise out of making them put in the DVD and dance along with me. Hey, a toddler's gotta have some fun, right?

~:O

Just Another Fall Weekend

posted by Evan Jake at 7:03 PM

This weekend wasn't terribly exciting in any one way. I mostly got to enjoy the beautiful weather with Momma and Dadda. Yesterday, Dadda and I spent a lot of time at the park across the street. I saw one of my old friends from my former daycare. He didn't seem to recognize me. And I wasn't so sure if I remembered him either. We stared at each other for a while, hoping our past friendship might rekindle itself. It didn't. Then I went home.

Today we went to the airport park again to see the airplanes land. I love watching the airplanes land. Although today we didn't get to see any. I wonder what happened to all the planes! It was a nice day, so I enjoyed running around the park anyway. Then we all went to a big mall to meet up with my baby friend, Sara Flynn. We ate lunch together. She spilled lots of water all over her mom and I ran around in crazy circles most of the time. It was a fun afternoon for all the grown-ups, for sure.

Sara Flynn had borrowed some of my old clothes and toys. So her mom and dad returned some of them today. It was cool seeing my old stuff again. Especially my "Bumbo" chair. I hadn't seen that thing in a lifetime. My Momma and Dadda got it for me when I was a few months old. I didn't really like it then. But when I saw it sitting on the dining room floor tonight, I couldn't help but try it out. I remembered pretty quickly why I hated that thing.

Back then I was too little to climb out of the "Bumbo." Now I'm too big to climb out. After sitting down, I quickly realized that my tushy was stuck. Dadda needed to provide Evan Jake an assist. But not before he got off a picture!

~:O

Sixty Days Notice

posted by Evan Jake at 8:26 PM

Today, I turned 22 months old. In just eight more weeks, I'll be celebrating the big T-W-O. Once I turn two, I don't think any of us will have to bother counting how many "months old" I am anymore. I can just be "two years old" and be done with it.

To celebrate today, Momma and Dadda took me to a pumpkin patch with hayrides, slides and farm animals. It was a lot of fun. The hayride was kind of bumpy and smelled like tractor fumes. But there were tiny tractors I got to push around and that was good enough for me.

There was also a big tall slide on a hill. They gave you a burlap sack to put under your tushy so you could slide down really fast. Dadda took me down the slide on his lap. Momma said I was grinning ear-to-ear the whole way down. So I convinced Dadda to lug me up the hill for a second trip. It was pretty much the greatest thing ever.

I also got a visit from my Bubbe and Zayde yesterday. Bubbe came down for a big knitting convention that was in town. Zayde chose to stay here at our house and hang out with me. I personally would have loved to go. I bet that knitting convention is a great place to meet ladies. I would have been the hit of they party.

Instead, I spent most of the day hanging out with Zayde. I think he's the greatest and we always have lots of fun together. Zayde also got to make a fun trip to the dump with Dadda. I think they had fun together at the dump. I love going to the dump, too. It must be in the genes.

~:O

Six Months Out of Every Year

posted by Evan Jake at 7:44 PM

Sometime in the wee hours of the morning this weekend, Dadda's favorite baseball team got eliminated from the playoffs. I know Dadda was really excited to see the Philadelphia Phillies make the post-season for the first time in fourteen years, so I didn't mind so much that he was neglecting me this last couple weeks. It made the last six months of neglect during the baseball season seem almost worth it.

But now that the Phillies are no longer playing in the playoffs -- and by my rudimentary calculations, won't be expected to play in the post-season again until I'm old enough to tell Dadda what a terrible father he's been and then get in the car and drive away legally -- Dadda now can focus on all those things he's ignored since April.

That's me in the picture in my "big boy room," sitting on my "big boy bed." Momma has been working hard to get my "big boy room" ready since the day we moved in back in June. She painted. Made pretty curtains. Got me this cool quilt with lots of animals on it. And has been coming up with all kinds of neat ideas for my Safari Room!

I don't know if I'm quite ready to leave the cozy confines of my crib just yet. This "big boy bed" thing looks a little scary, even though it's pretty close to the ground. I guess Momma wanted to have my "big boy bed" ready in case I had found a way to climb out of the crib on my own. (I'm still working on getting the right kind of leverage to vault myself out.)

That's me in the second picture playing in this cool igloo tent Momma got for me. I like to hide in there. I got Dadda to climb in with me this morning. He said that's the closest he'd ever come to taking me camping. In Dadda's book, camping is going to a hotel that doesn't have turndown service and a phone in the john.

The rest of my "big boy room" is still pretty barren. It's mainly just a napping room for the kitty cats at the moment. But maybe now Dadda will get off his tushy and put a little more work into finishing it off. Then he'll have to get to work on doing something with my old room. I assume they'll be hanging little velvet ropes in front of the door and leaving it to be appreciated by posterity, right?

~:O

n.b. Special thanks to my friends Marnie and Christine for lending a helping hand to my Safari Room! So far, they've done more work on the place than Dadda.