Sarah Gill for President
posted by Sarah Gill at 6:46 PM
Wow, I've become quite the phenomenon this past week. Every time the TV is on, I hear people talking about the "Sarah Factor." Crowds of people are chanting my name at rallies. "Sarah! Sarah! Sarah!" All the news shows are talking about Sarah this and Sarah that. Newspapers are running articles about the "Sarah Bounce." Now that sounds a bit dangerous for a little baby like me. My big brother would like nothing more than to see how high I bounce.
I can't say I'm totally surprised at all the fuss over me. I am Sarah Gill. Look how cute I am!
Not everyone on the TV or the Internets is so nice when they talk about me. Some of them say I lack experience and knowledge of the issues. Well let me tell you, being a baby is a lot like being a community organizer, except I poop my pants. And I am surprisingly well-versed in foreign policy. Did you know that almost all of my toys were made in China or Indonesia?
I've been called "an outsider" but that's not really true. I've only been "an outsider" for about 12 weeks. Before that, I was the ultimate "insider."
I do plan on bringing an atmosphere of reform. My predecessor, Evan Jake, had run-up ridiculous amounts of sleep debt in this house before I came along and began sleeping through the night. And Evan Jake asked for all kinds of special earmarks for toys, crayons and stacking cups. I will reduce these costs because I am perfectly content using hand-me-down stacking cups. That new "Bouncy Chair to Nowhere"? I said thanks, but no thanks. This is the kind of discipline we need.
Oh, I heard a funny joke. What's the difference between a pit bull and Sarah Gill? A pacifier.
Okay, I know I'm probably not John McCain's running mate. I mean, the guy's never even met me. I think someone from his vetting staff may have visited this blog once by accident. But surely that couldn't be enough for him to make such a major decision for the future of our country, right?
Should I be called on to serve my country, I know I will be ready. I'll be sure not to blink. I probably will be napping instead.
≈:O
Wow, I've become quite the phenomenon this past week. Every time the TV is on, I hear people talking about the "Sarah Factor." Crowds of people are chanting my name at rallies. "Sarah! Sarah! Sarah!" All the news shows are talking about Sarah this and Sarah that. Newspapers are running articles about the "Sarah Bounce." Now that sounds a bit dangerous for a little baby like me. My big brother would like nothing more than to see how high I bounce.I can't say I'm totally surprised at all the fuss over me. I am Sarah Gill. Look how cute I am!
Not everyone on the TV or the Internets is so nice when they talk about me. Some of them say I lack experience and knowledge of the issues. Well let me tell you, being a baby is a lot like being a community organizer, except I poop my pants. And I am surprisingly well-versed in foreign policy. Did you know that almost all of my toys were made in China or Indonesia?
I've been called "an outsider" but that's not really true. I've only been "an outsider" for about 12 weeks. Before that, I was the ultimate "insider."
I do plan on bringing an atmosphere of reform. My predecessor, Evan Jake, had run-up ridiculous amounts of sleep debt in this house before I came along and began sleeping through the night. And Evan Jake asked for all kinds of special earmarks for toys, crayons and stacking cups. I will reduce these costs because I am perfectly content using hand-me-down stacking cups. That new "Bouncy Chair to Nowhere"? I said thanks, but no thanks. This is the kind of discipline we need.
Oh, I heard a funny joke. What's the difference between a pit bull and Sarah Gill? A pacifier.
Okay, I know I'm probably not John McCain's running mate. I mean, the guy's never even met me. I think someone from his vetting staff may have visited this blog once by accident. But surely that couldn't be enough for him to make such a major decision for the future of our country, right?
Should I be called on to serve my country, I know I will be ready. I'll be sure not to blink. I probably will be napping instead.
≈:O
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